As the season of love approaches, we understand that you may have a special someone of your own. Though you may be teeming with excitement, beware of the gift you may choose, as even the most well-intentioned gift can ruin Valentine’s Day for both you and your Valentine. However, do not worry because here at the Titan Tribune, we have you covered.
5. Deodorant
We get it! Who doesn’t love a pleasant-smelling significant other? While this was undoubtedly your intention, some people may interpret this as a comment on the way they smell. So, instead of possibly commenting on their body odor, rethink and take the ten-minute drive to your nearest grocery store to pick up some flowers.
4. A Box of Chocolates with Someone Else's Name
With this one, a box of chocolates is an improvement, but your nomenclatural error ruins the whole sentiment. Using the wrong name could imply many things -- none good for the gift-giver. It implies a lack of attention to detail and suggests a shallow personal connection with the recipient -- both ideas you never hope to incite within your Valentine.
3. A DIY Taxidermy Kit
When they said they wanted a stuffed bear, this is not what they meant! I know it’s confusing, but trust me, this is not what they want. Just because your six-year-old nephew with questionable morals might love it does not mean your Valentine will. Take the trip to Build-a-Bear and get them something that will make them less… queasy.
2. A Weight Loss Program
Again, though your intentions were pure and wholesome, you will send the wrong message with this one. Saying that you could “effectively lose a couple of pounds” is not regarded as a romantic thing to do. Even if you aren’t sure whether your attraction stems from their personality or their “gravitational pull,’” remember this: don’t get them a workout plan.
1. A Cease and Desist Letter
While I appreciate the desire for a unique and attention-grabbing gesture, opting for a Cease and Desist letter for your Valentine pushes the boundaries of unconventional romance. Nothing says “I love you” like a legal document threatening to stop any passionate behavior, right? She may not fully appreciate your message with legal jargon; perhaps opting for a heart-shaped pizza would be wiser. Love should be declared, not litigated!
So, steer far away from the previously mentioned gift ideas and opt for tokens of affection that won’t make your Valentine cry. Happy Valentine’s Day, and may your gifts be as sweet as your intentions!